Or a doer? I, unfortunately, am very much a dreamer. I have grand plans of publishing my novel and writing many more. Of starting my own freelance editing business. My house being organized and well decorated. Finishing my wedding scrapbook and the scrapbook of my pregnancy. Of learning how to brew beer. Going scuba diving again. And and and.
But you've got a newborn at home! I can hear you all exclaim. And while I would love to use that as an excuse, I know that I can't. So what is it that's keeping me in the land of dreamers? I think my problem is three-fold:
1. Not truly knowing where to start. I wish I had a decorator's eye, but I don't. I can see well-decorated houses and know what I like, but I get overwhelmed at the store. S I leave empty-handed. This, by the way, also applies to clothes shopping. I need new clothes so badly, but I just dread it. Well organized house? They say a place for everything and everything in its place. A junk drawer (or 7) counts as a place,rifght??
2. Fear of failure. In my heart of hearts, I know that if I were to send it to publishing houses, my novel would be an instant success. I'd be the next Stephanie Meyer or J. K. Rowling. At least, I can continue to believe so as long as I don't send it off.
3. And this is the biggie. The fear of being laughed at or pitied for dreaming/trying. I know step-by-step how I want to start reaching out for freelance business. But what if I fail and all I hear around me was how it was stupid to try? What's really sad is I don't think anyone I know would say or feel that. And yet it holds me back.
So what am I doing to change? Nothing. Okay, obviously just kidding. Well, for starters, I reached out to friends to find out if anyone knows anyone in the publishing biz and one of my friends does and agreed to pass my novel along. Whether it's loved or hated, I've taken a step. My big hope now is for feedback and advice. I also need to work on writing more. At least twenty minutes a day. It can be blogging or working on my next novel, but I just need to be working my brain.
I'm going to start a binder of home decor, color schemes, etc that I like. And be more patient with the shopping. It should be fun, not stressful. Same with scrapbooking and holidays. I don't have to keep up with the Joneses. These are all things for me and my family and who cares if the things I create aren't as good as so-and-so's.
I'm working on a name for my freelance business. And it's freaking HARD!!! I've got the catchy reason for hiring an editor written out. My target is small businesses. Editing ads, billboards, signs, anything. I'm concerned owners/managers won't see the value of proper grammar and punctuation, but I'm hopeful. I'm thinking the first place I'll send a letter to will be the place with the neon sign advertising they sell taco's. I'm also going to hit up businesses on facebook. And anytime I see an opportunity, I need to be brave enough to seize it.
So am I going to be successful? Eh, time can only tell. But I don't want to wake up in 30 years and think about the wasted time and what could have been. I have to at least try.
And now the irony of ironies. Please forgive any typos, Elayna's asleep on my right arm so I'm having to type one handed :)
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